You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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