Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
