Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
