I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
