the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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