why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
