he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
third nipple confirmed
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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