its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
