How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
