That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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