If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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