I think I died a long time ago.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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