no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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