Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
