Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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