Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
even my farts smell like vagina
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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