The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
