She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize