omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
