I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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