My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
