Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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