mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
