i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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