Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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