it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
