Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
