What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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