Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
