i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
