what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's just like the Real World with babies
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
