no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
