Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
