I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
