Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we're making bets on your personal life
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
