yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
