I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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