I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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