either way he was missing a nipple.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
