Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
