Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
