my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
