you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
