Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
