you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
