i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
