Small penises have feelings too.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
