so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
