in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
