Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
