And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
