You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
