Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
