I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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