Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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